Silver Tears
by Crush
Summary: What if something happens to Draco's mom? What if he wants to change things? What if he gets the chance? What will happen when he sees the good he has inside him? Will he enjoy it? Or want to go back again and do it all the same? RR plz!
1. Malfoy Manner

J.M.J.  
  
Silver Tears  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Malfoy Manor  
  
Draco sat alone in his bedroom hiding from the screams downstairs. He didn't want to get involved like last time. He looked down at his shoulder and remembered every move that was made and every scream that was yelled that day. There was a hideous bruise that covered his left shoulder that his father gave to him when he tried to stop him from hurting his mother again.  
  
"I KNOW YOU DID IT, NARCISSA!" came the calls from downstairs. He could almost hear his mother's tears hit the green granite floor. Draco pulled his pillow over his ears as he tried to concentrate on something still. He read a book to ease his pain and to comfort his heart. He didn't want to listen. He didn't want to hear it!  
  
"LUCIUS STOP!" he heard his mother scream. Her scream was so loud not even his pillow could cover it up. It wouldn't even drown out the sound of pictures falling and glass breaking. Draco knew what was happening down stairs, but he didn't want to believe it. It always happened in the Malfoy Manor, every second of every hour did Draco have to hide.  
  
He crept to his window slowly; he just had to get away from those horrid shrieks of pain that were echoing from his mother's lips. He opened his window and slid down the pipe until he reached the soft ground. He could still hear the fight, so he ran hard and fast. When he was far enough to not hear them he found himself at his old swing-set. Malfoy went down memory lane, as he remembered when he didn't have to know his father's monstrous side. His mom and dad would always push him so contently on that swing. Malfoy sat on it softly as he recalled those years forgotten.  
  
He sat at least two hours on that swing until he decided that it was time to go back home. After crawling through his window he went downstairs, only to find his father at his desk in his office going over paper work for the Ministry. He then found his mother in the kitchen helping the house elves. Her hair was disgruntled and her tears were dried on her apron.  
  
"Hogwarts Train leaves tomorrow, dear," she said softly as if hoping that he hadn't heard that terrifying display that had finished only yet two minutes before.  
  
"Yes, I know," he ran over to his mother and gave her a hug as he whispered, "I love you." The only woman that could make his heart melt was his mother. The only thing that he loved was that lady that was in his arms. She was the only thing that made him happy, that made him feel whole, safe, and alive. This was the woman to give him birth, and his only parent that gave him love, that said he could be and do anything he wanted and that whatever it would be... he would be great.  
  
"Draco!" he heard his father's menacing voice flow downs the halls to where he was.  
  
"Coming, father," he replied trying not to act nervous. He knew he didn't have to be scared of his father the only time he would hurt him was if he got in the way of him and his mother, but there was always that fear in his soul that made him wonder if his father would change his mind and bang on him.  
  
"Sit, Draco," his father commanded when he entered. The office was a small circular room with shelves of books. It had statues of weird things that were no doubt had some inclination with the dark arts.  
  
"What is it, father?"  
  
"This is your 6th year at that school... what is it? Hogwarts?" Lucious said without looking up from his paper work.  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"Well, then you'll have to prepare for your inauguration."  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"Oh, boy, don't pretend to not know what I'm talking about..... The Dark Lord is quite pleased with having another Malfoy in his ranks."  
  
"Father, I don't want to join him... yet," he quickly added as he saw his father drop his pen out of surprise.  
  
"W-w-what?" he stuttered. Draco never knew his father to be a stutterer, "Not yet? Not yet! What? You mean to tell me that you are not ready?!"  
  
"That's exactly what I'm saying father."  
  
"Well when will you be 'ready'?" he asked angrily.  
  
"I-I-I don't know father. It all depends," his father swiftly rose from his chair, "I don't know if I can yet undergo what you go through, sir. I've seen your scars," Draco was lying to his father. He didn't NOT want to join Voldemort because of the torture you had to go through, it was because he never had the intention of joining that beast in the first place.  
  
"Lucious," Draco spun around when he heard the soft sweet voice of his mother, "The boy obviously does not want to be in co-heeds with this monster. Let Draco decide for himself, he has a mind of his own," his mother spoke boldly, but then took a step back, realizing that she spoke too boldly.  
  
Mr. Malfoy looked into his son's eyes and tried to control his temper. He spoke through gritted teeth as he said, "Mind your own business, Narcissa. The boy is 16 years old, if he hasn't decided yet then I'll have to decide for him!"  
  
"I have decided!" Draco spoke up.  
  
"And...." His mother and father both said.  
  
"I don't want to be with he-who-must-not-be-named," he said slowly as he looked at his feet. Draco, without looking up, knew his father's anger right at this point and his mother's joy. He just hoped that his dad wouldn't take it out on him... or his mother.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
Draco, forgetting his fears, stood up and stared at his father right in the eyes, "I don't want to join Voldemort! Did you hear me that time?" he yelled.  
  
Lucious gritted his teeth, clenched his fists, and gasped for breath, "FINE!"  
  
Draco then went to his room and waited to be called back down for dinner. Thirty minutes later their little house elf, Greenlie, came and whispered to Draco to come down for supper.  
  
He sat down next to his mother and across from his father.  
  
"I'll eat in my office," said Lucious to Greenlie.  
  
"Dear," his mother said as she touched his skeletal hand, "It's Draco's last night. Let's eat as a family."  
  
Mr. Malfoy looked at his wife and then to his son, it was as if he had to think about sitting there with his family, but he eventually consented and sat down in his head chair. Yes, this man's cold heart led him to hurt her, but deep down... every time he saw the boy that they both created reminds him of the love that he used to know. Now, he couldn't even mutter the disgusted word.  
  
"Well, Draco," he coughed, "we're going to do better than that Granger this year... aren't we?"  
  
A rage filled his soul as he thought of the competition that Lucious drove in his heart. It was his father's trait to always be the best at everything, and it was brushed off on him, "That little mudblood won't get one point higher than me this year, father."  
  
"Malfoy, shall we please not use that rude word?"  
  
"What... mudblood?" Lucious cut in, "Oh, you just don't want him to use it because your father's one?"  
  
"Lucious, I was just saying that... I'm just trying to teach him some values."  
  
"Values? Values? Malfoy? Do you have any... values, like your mother wants?"  
  
"Yes, sir. I have patience."  
  
"See, dear, he has patience... that's enough for my son," he mocked her.  
  
"Yes, I guess for YOUR son, but not for mine! Malfoy, you need more than just patience to get through life. Yes, that's a wonderful virtue but you need compassion, responsibility, friendship, work, courage, lo..."  
  
"Perseverance, loyalty, self-discipline," Lucious cut in.  
  
"Honesty, faith," his mother finished.  
  
"Mom, dad, stop! Just stop fighting! I'm leaving tomorrow, could we just have a nice meal?"  
  
No one spoke after Malfoy's outburst. It was nice as far as no one fought, but the meal was also ruined because no one even took the initiative to speak.  
  
That night, Malfoy lay awake in his bed talking to the open space of his vast room.  
  
"Why does he do that to me? He makes me feel like I HAVE to follow in his footsteps. It's not a big thing! I don't want to join him or... anyone! I just want a normal life. Why does he..."  
  
"... Love you? Dear."  
  
"Mom?"  
  
His mother, Narcissa, walked out of the shadows of the corner of his bedroom, "You know he loves you."  
  
She came sat on his bed and put her arm around him lovingly, "Listen, no matter what happens... I want you to always follow your heart. And when you come back from school you better have a girl on that arm," she laughed.  
  
"There's no one I like at Hogwarts."  
  
"There's that Granger..."  
  
"Ew! Mom, don't make me barf!"  
  
"Well, you talk about her constantly!"  
  
"Yea, only talk bad about her."  
  
His mother giggled softly, "You like her don't you?"  
  
Malfoy sat silent for a moment as he looked deep in his heart (gasp! Yes, he has one!), "I-I-I guess I do," he said slowly as he admitted it to himself, "But I've been so mean to her! She wouldn't want me... and plus I don't want her in this family! I don't want her to know what goes on behind closed doors."  
  
Narcissa's eyes filled with tears as she realized that her son knew only too well what really happened. She always knew that he heard, but did not want to admit it to herself, "It'll all be over soon," she whispered in her son's ear as she kissed him sweetly on the forehead.  
  
A/N: Thanks, Daintress, for the info. I guess I'll have to reread the 4th book for more info on her.... 


	2. Don't Cry For Me

J.M.J.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Don't Cry For Me  
  
The next morning Draco rose with his mother already gone and his luggage at the foot of the bed,  
  
"They really want me gone, huh?" he sarcastically imparted.  
  
When he finally arose from his bed he raced downstairs still in his nightclothes and, on his way down, he was stopped by a loud thud in his parent's bedroom. He raced back upstairs to see what was the matter, but before he could open the door his father came out already dressed and ready to go.  
  
"Ahh, Malfoy," he breathed, "Ready?"  
  
"What was that noise in your room?"  
  
Lucious's face went into a guilty sunken expression, "Uh... your mother must of fell... you know how klutzy she is. Now come on! Eat breakfast so we can go."  
  
He patted his son on the back as he left to go downstairs.  
  
After breakfast, Draco was already in the car ready to be taken to Platform 9 ¾, which was the only place in London to get to the train. When Mr. Lucious came out Malfoy looked around bewildered.  
  
"Where's mom? She always comes out to say goodbye."  
  
"She won't be today, she's... sleeping."  
  
"But this morning you said that that noise was mom because she fell!"  
  
"Stop asking questions!" his father barked abruptly.  
  
Draco sat up straight and stayed silent on the drive over. He was worried about what had happened that his mother wouldn't come and say goodbye. That was the best part of his departure, was when his mother would rush out right before the car started, make Draco step out of the car so that she could give him a kiss on the cheek and wish him good luck to the new school year. It was weird leaving now.  
  
After his father practically kicked him out the moving vehicle he found a nice compartment to sit in and put away his bags. He sat there for about ten minutes until the train started to move,  
  
"Guess I need to go find those blubber-heads they call 'body guards'," he thought aloud and he looked outside his saved 'room'. He looked in two different compartments and didn't find who he was looking for, just three Hufflepuffs and a Ravenclaw. When he finally saw a fellow Slytherin he asked quickly where the two were.  
  
"Oh, they're not coming this year. They failed so bad that Dumbledore had to send them to a 'special' school, as he calls it. I remember because my dad works with theirs in the Ministry and he was telling me about how he was cryin' his bloody eyes out that there would be no money coming from Mr. Luscious to protectin' his son."  
  
Malfoy's jaw dropped as the green haired (yes, I meant to say green) Slytherin left his side, "What?" he couldn't believe it! Crabbe and Goyle's father's both kept them in this long with money, how come now they were kicked out? Draco was then upset with his father even more for not keeping them in there. No matter how much he hated them they were worth keeping around for protection. Malfoy slowly glided down the halls back to his compartment. He sat there thinking that today was the worst day of his life,  
  
"No, never mind," he said aloud, he again looked down at his left shoulder as he pulled up his sleeve.  
  
It was a cold day and fog was covering the windows, Malfoy was sitting in his bathroom with the doors all closed and towels wrapped around his ears. Nothing could cover up the atrocious noise that was eking towards him. It was always the same thing, Mr. Lucious would have a bad day, or he would come back with scars on his back from God knows what, and he would look at Narcissa and lead her to a room and shut the door tight behind him. But no  
amount of doors between them could put asunder the horrid shrieks that would bellow forth. "STOP, LUCIOUS!" she would call, but it wouldn't stop, he would never stop. Today Draco's heart was hurting worst of all. "PLEASE  
DON'T!" he heard his mother call, "That's it," he whispered under his breath. He raced down the stairs as fast as his legs could carry. He barged in the room that he knew the display was taking place, "STOP, FATHER!" he pounced on his father's back when he saw his mother laying in a corner with  
pictures all broken on the floor his father standing aside her with his hand ready to fly. Oh, those hands; those horrible, horrible hands. They were so rough; never in a day were they sweet and loving as they should be.  
As Draco was hanging on for dear life on his father's back, hoping that nothing more would become on his mother, he was flung across the room with a force greater than what he knew. "DRACO!" he heard fall from his father's lips, Draco had managed to grab his father's sleeve, but the shirt of it ripped off willingly. There, on his father's shoulder, was a mark. A tattoo that Draco had never noticed before. It was burning from red to green. He looked into his father's scared eyes and his father's arm flew down upon  
his shoulder.  
  
He didn't remember anything else, but he knew that, aside from this one, that THAT was the worst day of his life. Although, come to think of it, he never really did have a good day.  
  
He had finally arrived at Hogwarts and was sitting at the Slytherin table just waiting anxiously for the feast to begin. The sorting came and a few children were welcomed to his side. And then,  
  
"Now let us feast!" Dumbledore said as food filled the plates in the Great Hall.  
  
"Draco, pass the chicken," Duncan, the green haired boy, said.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Please?"  
  
Draco laughed evilly as he passed the skinny twig a plate of chicken. He looked over towards the Gryffindor table and spotted Harry Potter sitting with his two friends, *Look at him; he has a perfect life just because he was almost killed by a Dark Lord. He has friends; he has a family, and a life! (He doesn't know Harry that well, obviously) I've almost been killed thousands of times and all I have is money ... Duncan, now* he thought viciously.  
  
"What you looking at?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Har... Potter, Weasel, and Granger!"  
  
Just then Hermione spun around, *Wow! She's gor... NO, Malfoy! She's a mudblood,* abruptly his mother's voice entered his head, *'You better have a girl on that arm when you get back.... You like her don't you?"*  
  
A fear filled Malfoy as he drank his pumpkin juice, *I know what he's doing to her* he thought. Draco knew all too well what was happening at his house this very minute. He tried to get his mind off of it, as he had to lead the Slytherin's to their dormitories, since he was Head Boy.  
  
He lay awake in his own bed and watched out the window that was beside him. The moon was full and the stars were bright. He opened just a crack to let the cool air blow on his sweaty body. He never could go to sleep when he wasn't at home. He couldn't go to sleep knowing that his mother wasn't safe, and not knowing how she was. Every year when he was in that castle he would never get rest due to this fear. He just sat by his window and watched the owls fly to and from the owlery with food.  
  
As Malfoy was watching the scene in the air, something caught his eye on the far away ground. There in the middle of the opening was a girl walking slowly across. Her head was down and her feet were bare. Draco watched her without making a noise (not like she would have been able to hear him from up there). She had on a red cloak that dragged on the damp grass. He watched her until she went back inside the castle. Draco didn't know who it was, nor did he have an urge to know, but it was nice seeing someone other than himself awake and worried.  
  
*****  
  
The next morning was, of course, a school day, so he had to get up bright and early for breakfast. When he took his regular spot and ate his usual breakfast the morning mail came. Unexpectedly, Malfoy's eagle looking owl, Atari, swooped down and dropped an envelope in his lap. It was tear-stained so he didn't want to open it in front of anyone.  
  
After class he told Duncan, who he had began to hang out with since the train, that he had to go to restroom, and while he was in there he took out the letter from his robe pocket and opened it hurriedly.  
  
Dear Draco,  
  
You know I love you and that I would do anything for you, but for a moment I had to think about me. I hate doing this to you my son, but you know as well as I what happens between your father and I. Don't cry for me, my son.  
  
Love,  
Mom  
  
Draco roughly put the letter back in his pocket and carried it the rest of the day close to his heart. It confused him, he had no idea what his mother was talking about and was worried what it might be.  
  
That night for dinner the Great Hall was loud from talking about their first day back. Draco wasn't eating much; he was too worried about his Mom's letter. He watched Hermione as she swatted her hair from her shoulder, and when she took small servings of macaroni and cheese. He was content as he stared at her. As he watched, he felt something fall in his lap again!  
  
"Two letters in one day, Draco? That's cool," another boy in Slytherin idiotically protested.  
  
Sure, enough another note was plummeted in his lap.  
  
"Now, what is this about?" Malfoy said aloud. It was a dark blue envelope that made his heart hurt when he looked at it for some reason. He opened it slowly,  
  
"What does it say?" Parvati intruded.  
  
"Uh..." he was worried so read it to himself quietly.  
  
Dear Draco,  
  
I hate to tell you this, son, but your mother past away this morning. She was in her bed all day coughing, and while I was at the Ministry she was coming down stairs and she tripped over the rug and fell over the banister. I don't want you to come home because I need to get everything in order.  
I'll come visit you tomorrow to talk to Dumbledore about everything and  
we'll get this sorted out.  
  
Your Father,  
Lucious  
  
*He makes it sound like a damn business proposition! For God sakes, my mother's dead!?* he thought disbelievingly. Malfoy stood up and ran from the Great Hall with tears in his eyes. No one knew what was wrong, and no one questioned... except a nosy brown haired girl from Gryffindor. She followed him out of the Great Hall and around the corner.  
  
"Malfoy!"  
  
"What is it, Granger?" he said trying to suck up his pain.  
  
"Oh, my goodness! What's wrong?" she said when she seen the teary eyed Slytherin.  
  
Malfoy couldn't hold it in, he just broke down on the spot, "She's dead!" he cried. "My mother died this morning!" he wailed through gasps of breath.  
  
Hermione herself began to well up with sorrow for him, "Malfoy, I... I didn't... uh..."  
  
All she knew was that he needed comfort, so she took him in her arms and hugged him tightly, letting him know that it would be okay.  
  
He had to take it in all so suddenly. First in the morning with the confusing note from his mother, and now with the abrupt message from his father that so clearly and vividly painted a picture in his mind of the mishap. It was too fast for the liking! He just sat there not even realizing who was showing him so much compassion; he just stayed there in her arms crying his heart and soul out onto her robes not caring what she thought of him, not caring how he looked right now, and not even worrying about who was holding on to him. At that moment it was all about his mother, just her and his love for her. Malfoy never knew anything even close to love without his mother. And that piece of him was shattered too. His heart was broken. Draco knew that he would never talk to his father again and never, ever, join the Dark Lord. If his mother wouldn't of wanted it, then it wouldn't happen.  
  
Malfoy changed without knowing it at that moment. He changed wholly and fully, without even realizing how much he'd changed. This was the beginning of a new Draco Malfoy. 


	3. Seeking Consolation

J.M.J.  
  
Silver Tears  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Seeking Consolation  
  
The next day Malfoy was still a little shaken from the abrupt mishap. It was as if it didn't really seep in, he felt like she was still there, just waiting at his house for him. But those feelings went away whenever his father came for a visit to "get affairs in order". It was after lunch and Draco was about to go to Herbiology when Dumbledore came up behind him requesting him to come to his office.  
  
When Draco arrived inside the quaint size office there, in one of the two chairs before the Headmaster's desk, was his father looking as stern as ever.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Draco questioned.  
  
"I told you in the letter I'd be here," he growled.  
  
"Yes, now, Lucious," Dumbledore began, "What would you like to do, exactly? Were you planning on coming in and taking Draco from us?"  
  
"No, I was simply here to tell him that there will be a...... there will be a... funeral," Mr. Malfoy finally came out and said.  
  
"Oh, well," Dumbledore took a seat and obliged Draco to do so also.  
  
Malfoy didn't want to talk or see his father at the moment, so he sat silently as his father and Dumbledore talked. He didn't listen in on their conversation, although he was supposed to. He just sat there thinking of her... his mother.  
  
*I won't be able to look at her in a coffin* Draco thought.  
  
"Well, goodbye, Mr. Malfoy. Glad for you to of stopped by," Albus was saying when Draco came back to reality.  
  
Draco stayed behind when his father left the office,  
  
"Is there something on your mind, my boy?" Dumbledore asked seeing him still there.  
  
"Yes, sir, I don't think... I don't think my mother's death was... was an accident," Malfoy spatted. Dumbledore's face went into complete shock.  
  
"How could you say such a thing?"  
  
"You have no idea what goes on in my house, Professor! He..."  
  
"No more! I'm sorry, Draco, but I can only get so close to my students, letting me know what goes on behind closed doors isn't in the job description," Professor Dumbledore looked into Malfoy's terribly sad eyes and said, "Draco... I can see that this matter is quite important, but walls listen... and I don't want anything out in the open that shouldn't be. No matter how much I want to help you, my boy, I... can't."  
  
Malfoy took a deep breath and left Dumbledore's office hurriedly. He had to get away from him! He was about to spill his heart out because he thought that that would be the only person to trust, but now he knew he couldn't even tell the Headmaster. When he arrived down the stairs a sudden arm came out of nowhere and pulled him to the side.  
  
"Son," it was his father who's arm grabbed him abruptly, he took him and pulled him into a soft hug.  
  
Malfoy wanted to push away from his father at that moment, but knew that he shouldn't. He had never seen his father look so grieved except at this moment. As he looked into his father's eyes he actually saw tears of sorrow,  
  
"Father," Malfoy muttered, "I lo..." he couldn't bring himself to say it. At that moment it wouldn't of been true. His tongue was stopped on his teeth as he held the man wallowing in his arms.  
  
Lucious, probably, knew what his son was thinking and stood up straight, whipped his eyes and whispered a 'goodbye' on his leave out of the door.  
  
Draco looked after his father leave, and as he did so a sudden urge of hatred surged his body. He didn't know why, though. His father had just hugged him for the first time in a very long time, and, not to mention, was crying! But Draco had no feeling of love or pity in his soul for that atrocious being. No matter how much he wanted his mother back, he wanted his father to suffer from loss of her.  
  
That evening after school Malfoy was on his way to Quidditch practice.  
  
"Malfoy!" he heard being called down the forsaken halls.  
  
"What?" he said as he spun around. Draco's heart skipped a beat when he saw who was calling his name, "Granger? What do you want?"  
  
"I wanted to see how you were. I saw your father leaving and I thought that he was here to take you away so you can be with family during this... time."  
  
"Oh, no, he was just here to say goodbye actually. *Why am I talking to her? Yell at her, Draco, come on! Yell!*"  
  
"Well... are you okay?"  
  
"Uh, yes, thanks," when Draco said this he was about to melt! He couldn't believe he told her 'thanks', but she was obviously happy because she smiled with pleasure.  
  
"Ok, well um..."  
  
"Don't... don't tell anyone, please. I'd prefer for Potter and Weasel not to know a-a-bout this."  
  
"Yea, sure," she coughed, "You're going to Quidditch practice?"  
  
"Well, I hate to state the obvious, but yes," he said as he twiddled the broom in his hand.  
  
"Oh... may I come watch?"  
  
"It's a free country..."  
  
"No, I mean you. May I come watch YOU?"  
  
"Oh, uh... I'd like that," he smiled. *What are you doing, Draco!?!? You just invited a mudblood to come to practice with you! Why can't you yell at her? Just turn around and yell your bloody brains out, get her away!* he thought while walking to practice.  
  
"Hey, Draco," everyone shrieked when he walked in. Hermione had gone sit in the stands to wait for them to take flight.  
  
"First practice of the season," the old Quidditch captain said happily, but a sudden sadness filled his eyes as he stated, "And also my last day, but... luckily I get to hand it over to a eligible person who deserves the position, possibly, more than me. So.... Draco, since last year, was definitely, my last, this is your team, have fun."  
  
Draco smiled quickly but then put a stern look on his face to let everyone know that he meant business.  
  
"Okay, we're beating those filthy Gryffindors' this year. Are we not?"  
  
A grand cheer arose from the crowd before him. He then led everyone outside for a great practice.  
  
When he was up in the air he saw Hermione sitting in the stands waving at him like crazy. Malfoy's heart began to race and all he wanted to do right there was show off. He zoomed around and around, twirled upon his broom, jumped over Bludgers, and flew through the hoops. He found the Golden Snitch in a blink of an eye and everyone was very happy that their new captain hadn't lost his spark. (I don't really think at practice they use with the real balls, but oh well.)  
  
An hour later, practice was over and the whole team was congratulating Draco. He loved it, until Hermione came up behind him and said sweet congratulations and walked away.  
  
"Hey, Draco, you're gonna let a Gryffindor talk to you like that?" one of the Beaters protested when Hermione was almost out of earshot.  
  
"You're going soft or something, Draco?" the team Keeper said.  
  
"Yea, 'cause we can't have a 'softy' as out captain!" they all looked at Malfoy with anger in their eyes, waiting for his reply.  
  
"Oh, come on! She obviously drank a little too much pumpkin juice, and plus, the little mudblood doesn't have anyone to protect her... now why would I dis on a girl when she has no one to defend her? That's just not me!" he covered. Everyone seemed convinced and went on with the praises for their new team leader.  
  
That night Malfoy was, again, watching out of his window, but instead of watching the hooting owls he watched the ground for that girl. Tonight Draco didn't see her, though. He watched every inch of the dewy grass, but there was no sign of the red woman. He lay in bed looking at the ceiling trying to just think of her, but other untrustworthy thoughts filled his head.  
  
*Why is Granger being nice me? Is it because of my mother? Does she just feel for me? She's just taking pity on me! I don't need her... yes I do* he slowly took in what he was admitting to himself. It all was seeping in, his mother's bereavement, his openness towards feelings, and his hatred to his father. All of it was draining in him that night. Every thing he did now was for his mother. Every step he made he thought of his mother. Ever breath he drew in was in adoration of his mother. It was all about her, all about what she thought of him, and all about his love for her.  
  
That night, he found himself, and he found closeness with his mother again. He found closure from every poor thought or action that he usually would of implied. He found meaning in his life again; it wasn't' to live up to his father's wants or needs, it was to live up to his own... with his mother's approval. He also found consolation, he was seeking it in a person, but instead he found it in himself, he found it in the cold night air and the pure moonlight. That's what he originated in a single night; it was all new to him this profound knowledge of understanding. It wasn't the one he knew before. Before he just thought it was necessary to understand books and schoolwork, but now he also knew it was just as important to understand himself and his own feelings. He had a wall that kept him away from his own self, but in that single night he took it down and made a resolution to himself to be better at who he was and what people thought of him.  
  
"And the first person to make sure knows of the 'improved me'," he said aloud, "Is that Granger." 


	4. Fade Into the Background

J.M.J.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Fade Into the Background  
  
The next morning Draco rolled out of bed still wide-eyed, even now that he knew his mother was safe he couldn't go to sleep. It was awful knowing what had become of her so suddenly, and Malfoy had to strive to be strong through it. He couldn't let it hold him back, he had a life. After brushing his teeth, combing his hair, and making his robes to perfection he raced up the stairs and out of the Slytherin Dormitories. He ate little breakfast when he arrived at the Great Hall and talked little from now on. Yes, he wanted to change and show his good side, but he didn't know how. He had been so used to his rough exterior taking hold of him that he never let anyone get close to his soft, meek, gentleman side.  
  
"Yo, Draco!" Duncan called amidst the crowd in which Malfoy was lost.  
  
"Hey, man," he gave Duncan a handshake. Malfoy had found out that Duncan was born and raised in America, and only came here because his father was promoted high in the Ministry. Duncan, himself, was rich with gold and never lived a day without it. Although he was Slytherin he loved mudbloods, probably because while in the U.S. he hung out with them so much. He was a 'bad boy' replica and had high standards for himself, and he always made sure to achieve his goals with flying colors. He was headstrong and forthright, but like every boy of that age had his own little quirks that showed through vibrantly. He always had to be right and make sure everyone knew it. His hair was green because he was rebelling against his mother. Duncan's mom hated the 'punk' look and fumed at every chain that Duncan bought and tricks that he performed on his skateboard and the music he listened to. Duncan was pure punk at heart and loved to be so because of his mother's hatred for it.  
  
"You seen that Hermione Granger this year, dawg?" Duncan went on.  
  
Draco looked at him awkwardly, "Yes... dawg..." he said uncomfortably, not exactly knowing where he got that language. Malfoy looked around him at the other people walking; they were all looking at him uneasily. Draco just brushed it off and finished listening to Duncan.  
  
"She's hot, huh?"  
  
"Uh... I guess so."  
  
"Oh come on, dawg, I seen you looking at her at breakfast. You like her don't you?"  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"Ai-ite, ai-ite, I can see you don't want to admit it, but you better do something fast, before I take her."  
  
"Duncan," he called after him, "Have you ever... you know... wish for something that could never happen?"  
  
"Well, of course! I wished that the babes off of the T.V. could come and...."  
  
"No, no, no!" Draco stopped him.  
  
"Then I don't know what you mean."  
  
"Okay, well see.... I've been wishing lately to like go back in time," he said slowly hoping not to come off too stupid, "to maybe make right what I did."  
  
"Aw, dawg! I know what you mean!"  
  
"Oh, thank goodness, I'm not the only one."  
  
"Well how for back?"  
  
"Far enough to get... a girl."  
  
"I knew it! You DO want Hermione!"  
  
"Well anyway the point is..."  
  
"Say no more, bra! You're wish is my command," and with that he turned the corner.  
  
*That was weird* he thought.  
  
During the next couple of weeks, Draco skipped a couple of classes due to loss of energy from crying all the time. He was devastated! He wanted to accept it so bad and just move on, but he couldn't, Narcissa was still in the back of his mind.  
  
On a Friday afternoon, after classes let out, he saw Hermione walking with Harry, he didn't see Ron in sight, he wanted to go talk to her so bad, but knew it would only start trouble. But, unexpectedly, she came up to him.  
  
"Hey, Malfoy," she said innocently.  
  
"Hi, Granger," he rolled his eyes, he didn't want to look desperate, "What do you want?"  
  
"I seen you weren't in Defense Against the Dark Arts today."  
  
"You're right, I wasn't."  
  
"Well, I was just worried about you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, because of what happened... I wanted to make sure you were okay. I know what you're going through."  
  
"Have you ever lost a parent, Granger?"  
  
"No, but..."  
  
"Then you don't know what I'm going through. She was the only person that I loved and he took her away from me!"  
  
"Who? I thought her death was an accident..."  
  
Draco opened his mouth, but closed it suddenly again. He waited a little while, thinking of what he was going to say, but all he could mutter to cover it up was, "I shouldn't have said that," and he raced away dumbfounded.  
  
That night he sat at his window watching the stars in the dark sky.  
  
"Are you up there?" he questioned aloud, "If you are I want you to know that... that... I'm going to change who I used to be. I know you didn't like what I did here, I know you thought I was going to turn out like my father, but I'm not! I swear! I'm not going to be like him. I just want to go back and redo everything I did. Maybe you would still be here!"  
  
Tears blurred his vision from the twinkling stars, "I want to redo it," he kept repeating. He said it over and over again, hoping that she heard him. He wanted his mother to hear so badly. He wiped his eyes and looked around on the ground from something that caught his glare.  
  
"There she is," he whispered. He raced outside to see who this disturbed girl was. When he arrived outside the wind was cold and the ground damp. It was darker then usual due to the half crescent moon. He looked around him for the red hooded female.  
  
"Hello!" he called out into the swollen darkness. He heard a gasp come from a crevice in the wall. He peered into it and there muzzled in the corner was a young woman with her head between her legs and her hair wrapped around her body. She was white as ice and as cold too.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked silently, trying not to scare her.  
  
She looked up when she heard the angelic voice and Draco jumped at who he saw, "Granger? What are you doing here!?!?" he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her from her place.  
  
"Oh, like you care!" she screamed.  
  
"I do. What's wrong?"  
  
"No," she turned to walk away, "You have enough on your plate, and I'm better off dealing with it by myself."  
  
"Wait, no! You were there for me... no questions asked when I was hurting. What's wrong?"  
  
She looked around making sure no one was watching, she looked petrified to be out there alone, but for some strange reason she was, "I-I-I-I got into some real bad trouble," she stuttered.  
  
"You? Trouble? ... What kind of trouble?"  
  
"Uh..." she came closer to him so she could talk at a whisper, "Uh... I lost... I lost..."  
  
"What? What did you lose?"  
  
"My-my..."  
  
"Oh, bloody hell just say it!" he said getting rather perturbed.  
  
"Okay, but you have to understand how-how you would feel if you were me!"  
  
"What? You lost a book?"  
  
"This isn't a funny matter, Malfoy!"  
  
"Okay, sorry, what is it?"  
  
Hermione took a deep breath and whispered in the lowest tone she could muster, "I lost my virginity."  
  
Draco was about to crack up laughing. He honestly thought it would something way worst than that! But he realized how much she was hurting right now so he tried to console her, "Who with? I mean, it must be someone you didn't want to do it with otherwise you wouldn't be this... sad."  
  
She took another deep breath, as she got closer to him to tell him the culprit who stole it, "Ron..."  
  
"WHAT!?!?"  
  
"Shh!"  
  
"Sorry... what made.... What happened that... why him!?!?"  
  
"It just happened so suddenly! You saw me this morning! How I wasn't near him!"  
  
"Explain," he demanded.  
  
"Malfoy, I... to you? I hate to 'state the obvious', but we're not that great of friends. Bloody hell, we're NOT friends, why would I tell you something like this?"  
  
"Because #1 you already have me intrigued so you can't leave me without details, #2 you obviously need to talk to someone and..." he looked around the wet grounds, "I'm the only one here."  
  
That night Hermione let her heart out to Malfoy about everything that happened between her and Ron (that's in another chapter) and Draco, since it was only fair, told her everything he was feeling also. They bonded a little. Hermione saw a new side of the devilish boy that no one knew before.  
  
"It's getting late," she said as when she saw that the moon was about to sink.  
  
"Yea," he looked down at his feet not wanting to be tempted by her lips.  
  
"Good night, Malfoy, thanks for talking with me."  
  
"Night, Hermione..."  
  
"What did you call me?" she said as she swung around.  
  
"Uh... Granger..."  
  
"No! You called me something else... say it again!"  
  
"What? .... *I can't believe I just did that!*" he wrestled in his head, *She might take that as we're friends and... oh, but I want to be so much more... NO! Come on, Draco you didn't call her by her name!*  
  
"Please?"  
  
*Yes you did* "Hermione."  
  
She gave a small whimper as she ran up to him and pulled him into a sweet embrace and pressed her lips upon his. Malfoy had a few encounters like this before, but this time it meant something, he liked the kiss. He was 'into' the kiss. It felt different from all the other girls that he made out with. It felt nice and he was sad when she departed from him and went back to her dormitories.  
  
****  
  
*Do I dare ask her out?* he thought the next day at breakfast, *I'll ask Duncan what he thinks about it lat.... wait a second, come to think of it, I haven't seen that asshole since... I can't remember the last time* Malfoy pondered over this more a moment more, until he was hit hard in the rib by a large hand  
  
"Come on, Malfoy, get out of my way," Goyle said angrily.  
  
"What? What are you doing here?"  
  
Everyone looked at him in awe and confusion, "What do you mean what I'm doing here?" Goyle retorted, "What are YOU doing here? Go back into Gryffindor where you belong!"  
  
"I thought you were being sent to a different school.... wait, Gryffindor?"  
  
"We're right here, bastard," Crabbe said cracking his knuckles menacingly.  
  
"AHH!" he screamed as he ran from the Great Hall. SMACK! He had ran face first into a person and hit the floor hard.  
  
"Ugh, Malfoy... watch where I'm walking," the boy laughed.  
  
"Weasel?"  
  
"Where you off to in such a hurry anyway," he said helping him up.  
  
"Why are you touching me?" he quickly said as he pulled away from Ron's grasp.  
  
"Are you okay, mate?" Ron's eyes were confused and bug eyed, "What's wrong?"  
  
"What in the bloody hell is going on here?"  
  
"Uh, Draco?" a timid voice came from behind.  
  
"Oh, thank God, Hermione! What's wrong with Weasel? Why was he trying to help me? ... Why are Crabbe and Goyle here? .... Where's Duncan!?!?!?" he screamed at the top of his lungs.  
  
"Honey, are you playing a trick or something? Because it's not funny...."  
  
"What did you call me? .... Oh my gawd!" he looked down at his robes and noticed the Gryffindor emblem in the place of his Slytherin patch.  
  
"What in the world am I doing in Gryffindor!"  
  
"Baby, baby, calm down," Hermione said, "I'm going to take you to the Hospital Wing right now."  
  
"WHAT? I'm not crazy!" Ron and Hermione both grabbed him by the arms and legs and pulled him towards Madam Pomphrey.  
  
"Oh dear," she whispered, she then injected the flailing Draco with some morphine to calm him down.  
  
"What happened?" he said as the drugs were kicking in, "Why are you calling me 'honey'? Why is Weasel being my friend? ...." Draco then fell into a doze as everything went black.  
  
A/N: Duh-dun-dunnn! OMG! What happened!?!?!? Hehe! You'll see.. *evil snicker* 


	5. Choose Thy Words

J.M.J.  
  
Silver Tears  
  
Choose Thy Words  
  
"Where am I?" Draco asked when he woke up in the Hospital Wing. He looked around him and found no one there. *Maybe it was a dream* he thought. Right when his feet hit the ground Madam Pomphrey came out of her room/office.  
  
"Oh, dear, you're finally up. You've been sleeping for two days. You little girlfriend was dreadfully worried, I'm sure she'll be happy to see you're okay."  
  
"My girlfriend?"  
  
"Oh, don't worry, morphine can do that to you sometimes. Your memory will come back momentarily."  
  
*What?* "What happened? Why am I here?"  
  
"Oh, dear, you went crazy for some odd reason. You should rest some more."  
  
"No! I don't want to rest, I want to know what's going on... please?"  
  
"Dear, you really need rest, now lie back and go to sleep."  
  
Malfoy listened to Madam Pomphrey's request and went back to sleep. The next morning he woke up to Hermione's voice.  
  
"Oh, goodness! What happened?"  
  
"It's okay, honey..."  
  
"Wait! Honey? YOU'RE my girlfriend?"  
  
Hermione looked at him with confusion and pain, "You forgot me?"  
  
Seeing that this would make any girl cry he abruptly put in, "No, I just.... The morphine...." He said as he laid back down holding his head.  
  
"Hey, mate... you're okay now?" Ron had just walked in with a box of chocolate frogs, "These are for you... well... the cards are for you. I kind of got a little hungry on the way here," he smiled sweetly.  
  
Draco sat up and got out of bed hurriedly. He had no idea what was going on.  
  
"What house am I in?" he questioned angrily.  
  
"Gryffindor, sweetie," Hermione replied.  
  
Draco ran to the sink and splashed cold water on his face, "Just keep cool, Draco. Just keep cool," he whispered to himself.  
  
"Well, we'll leave for you to get dressed. It's Saturday so meet us outside, please."  
  
Hermione and Ron departed from Draco leaving him there in a daze. He got dressed with trouble. Wanting to rip off the Gryffindor patch was mostly the trouble. He was on his way outside when he ran into someone who was the last person to be his friend.  
  
"Draco!"  
  
"Potter?" he questioned wide-eyed. He looked around making sure everyone saw him talking to Harry.  
  
"Did you just call me by my last name? Anyway, I'm sorry I wasn't there for the 'incident'," he said, "I was a little busy. Where you off too?"  
  
"Um... outside," he said slowly trying to figure it all out, "What year is this?"  
  
"Our 6th."  
  
"Who's my father?"  
  
"Whoa! How much morphine did she give you?"  
  
"Just answer the bloody question!"  
  
"Alright, you don't like talking about your father..... Are you sure you won't hit me if I say his name?"  
  
"Yes, and then you'll tell me why I don't want you to talk about him."  
  
"Okay... Lucious Malfoy. We don't talk about him because he's in Azkaban and you're pissed at him for what he did..."  
  
"Wait! When did he get into Azkaban... what did he do?"  
  
"Uh... remember, when you were in your 1st year you saw him beat your mother, so you hit him with a curse," Harry said as if repeating something out of a book, "and sent an owl for someone to come take him away. He's been in Azkaban for the longest time now."  
  
"Wow," Draco said, "Then my mother's still alive?"  
  
"Yea, man."  
  
"SHE'S ALIVE???"  
  
"Now, what else do you want to know?"  
  
"How long have I been dating Hermione?"  
  
"DUDE! You better know that! Your anniversary is coming up!"  
  
"Well, I don't! So..."  
  
"Since your third year, your anniversary is in a week," he informed him.  
  
"And since when were we friends?"  
  
"Aw... that hurts man," Harry said sarcastically, "Since 1st year."  
  
Malfoy stood there for a few seconds letting it all seep in, then life suddenly was back in his feet as he jumped up, "THE WISH!" he yelled.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh, my gawd!"  
  
"What?!?!?" Harry said confused.  
  
Draco almost fainted; he kept taking in deep gasps of breath as he thought of it all.  
  
*'Your wish is my command' that's what Duncan said the last I saw him!* Draco ran from where he was and ran to the Slytherin dormitories with Harry screaming after him.  
  
"Slugs Breath," he yelled at the wall that would lead him to his room. It opened slowly and as he ran in everyone screamed and Crabbe and Goyle came out of either side.  
  
"What are you doing here!?!?" they screamed.  
  
"What do you mea... o!" it dawned on him. He raced back as fast as he could towards the Gryffindor dormitories, and when he arrived another thing dawned on him, "I don't know the fuckin' password!" he screamed.  
  
"Excuse me!" the fat lady said aghast.  
  
"Sorry," he whispered ashamed, "Well, I guess I'll have to face the music," he whispered as he turned the corner leading the outside. Hermione Ron and Harry were all waiting outside under a tree for him.  
  
"Hey, baby, what happened?" Hermione said when he neared.  
  
*I'm going to hurt her if she keeps calling me that* he said as he put on a fake smile and sat down. When he did so, Hermione scooted closer to him and put his arm around her for him. He looked at her wide eyed and thought, *It's going to be a loooong day*  
  
That night he followed his 'friends' towards the fat lady who looked at him angrily, "Lemon Tarts," Harry said.  
  
She allowed them in and Hermione kissed Draco on the cheek when she went to her room. Malfoy was about to scream, he had to think about this all.  
  
When he arrived in his room he found on his pillow a letter that made him forget all his worries,  
  
Dear Draco,  
  
How was your first week back at Hogwarts? I remembered that it's your and  
Hermione's three year anniversary in a week and I thought I'd just say congratulations. I'm fine here; Dobby's a real help when you're not around. He's taking cares of your dog don't worry. We both miss you terribly and hope your having a great time. Can't wait until Christmas. Hermione's still  
coming with you to visit, huh? Well, if you need any more money for a  
present for her then just send an owl.  
  
Love,  
Mom  
  
Draco wrapped the letter back up and kissed it tenderly, *She's back*.  
  
He lay down and got the first real nights rest that he ever had in Hogwarts.  
  
AN: Whoa...... More to come and some secrets revealed ;) 


	6. Optical Illusion

J.M.J.  
  
Optical Illusion  
  
The next day Draco read his mother's letter again, and as he did he realized how many things changed since he made 'good' choices.  
  
"Dobby's back? I have a dog?" he questioned aloud at he looked down at the letter.  
  
"Really, man," Ron said as he got out of bed, "We need to get you to the bloody nurse. I think she may of gave you too much of that medicine, it's totally racking your brain."  
  
Draco looked at him devilishly. He hated not knowing what was going on around him, but he knew he had to deal.  
  
"Morning, Draco," Harry called when he arose, "Morning, Ron."  
  
"Good morning, Harry," they said at the same time.  
  
"Quidditch practice," Harry informed them.  
  
"Uh... do I play a position? Harry? Are you Seeker?" Malfoy said confused.  
  
"Well, at least you remember some things, mate. Yes, I'm the Seeker still. You... you're a beater. After that anger management crap that you had to take after your father..." Harry gasped as if he just had spoken a forbidden word.  
  
"Uh... go on," Draco said unafraid.  
  
"Ok, well after that anger management session that you had to take after HE left, you learned to take it out on the ball. You're bloody great, you know."  
  
"I had to have an anger management session?"  
  
"Okay, that's it! We're going to Hospital Wing, we really need to do something about this!"  
  
"No, I'm okay. I'm fine, just... just need to focus," he said after he was finished getting dressed and everything, "Oh, I do have one more question though."  
  
"Yea, what is that?"  
  
"What year are Crabbe and Goyle?"  
  
Harry and Ron laughed maniacally when he asked this question, "I'm serious!" he protested.  
  
"Okay, okay," they said calming down, "yes, they're our age, but they're still in first year," he said as he laughed more.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
But they couldn't answer do the fits of tummy chuckles they were infused with.  
  
***  
  
"I hate to brag," Draco was saying while walking back to their dormitories after Quidditch practice, "but I'm good."  
  
"Hey, Draco," he heard behind him. The scene reminded him of the one he had (as if) only moments before when he saw who was calling his name.  
  
"Gra... Hermione, hey."  
  
"I saw you at practice... you did good. I especially liked when you hit the Bludger through the hoops," she said as if she was trying to flirt. Draco had the hardest time to keep himself from rolling his eyes, it was so tempting.  
  
****  
  
"I love you," Draco said the moon in place of his mother that night.  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
"Who's there?" he said as he wiped around to see who was mimicking the girly voice.  
  
"Me," a black-eyed, green haired boy said, coming out of the shadows, "You talk to your mom often?"  
  
"Duncan, what are you doing here?" he whispered, not wanting to wake anyone else up.  
  
"That doesn't matter. How do you like your new and improved life?"  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"You're in Gryffindor now, I thought that would make you mad," he laughed quietly, "Well, that's because you made a choice to denounce the 'dark- side' earlier than what you did your... other life."  
  
"By putting my father away?"  
  
"Yea, pretty much," he informed him, "See, the very first time you saw your dad taking action, you acted too. You yelled, 'Petrificus Totalus!'," he said acting it out. "Then he froze, then you sent an owl to the ministry, they came to get him, and brought him to Azkaban."  
  
"So, now my mother's safe?"  
  
"So, now your mother's safe."  
  
"Well, what about Dobby?"  
  
"Since your dad wasn't there to give him a sock, Dobby stayed, and he loves being a house-elf now."  
  
Draco paused a moment as he thought what to ask next, then the perfect questioned dawned on him, "What's my dog's name?"  
  
"Aw, dude! You got a dog?"  
  
"Oh, you didn't know? Well, I guess since me dad was gone... since he's allergic to dogs, we got him... here's another one."  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"Did you do this?"  
  
"Give you a second chance?"  
  
"Yea."  
  
"Ask her," Duncan said pointing up to the moon and with that Duncan left, leaving Draco to think by himself.  
  
****  
  
The week that passed was hectic, he had to deal with school, Quidditch, friends, AND a girlfriend now! He was almost drained, not to mention finding Hermione the perfect gift.  
  
"Last year you had a star named after her," Ron was telling Draco while he, Harry, and himself were walking to Lunch.  
  
"I'm so corny!" he shrieked.  
  
"Oh, come on! It's sweet. You loooove her!" he teased.  
  
"HEY!" it dawned on Ron, "Tell her you love her! Girls love that!"  
  
"I can't tell her I love her if I don't."  
  
"You.... don't?"  
  
"Well, not yet. Not 'love'!" Draco was about to pass out from the feared word, "Hey, has anyone seen Duncan?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"A green haired boy. I was talking to him yesterday in the halls."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Duncan!"  
  
"I think we would have noticed a 'green' haired boy. I mean, we've NEVER seen anyone like that."  
  
"Oh, um... ok," Draco, said confused. He could swear he was talking to him just yesterday in the halls after History of Magic AND even during Transfiguration class.  
  
That evening Draco was sweating he and Hermione's third year anniversary was tomorrow and it seemed like they just met! Because, technically, they did. He had no idea what to do to top naming a STAR after her.  
  
A/N: I wrote it kinda fast, because I was (obviously) in a hurry. So, sorry if it went to fast or if I didn't get my point across, but it'll be better and longer next time and THANK YOU to all of my reviewers LUV YA!!!! Hugs to ya! 


	7. Duncan's Secret

J.M.J.  
  
Duncan's Secret  
  
Draco was getting used to calling Hermione by pet names now, he was actually getting good at it, too. There was 'sweetie', 'baby girl', 'sunshine flower', and 'lovie dove'. He knew they were korny, but she liked them! For their anniversary he avoided her the whole day and then that night he brought her out to watch the sunset. He found the star that he named after her and they looked at it through a telescope, afterwards, Draco had made fireworks shoot into the air spelling her name and saying, 'I love you'. He knew he couldn't literally say those words, so he put them in the air. While fireworks were going off he handed her silver, heart shaped locket with a small diamond in the middle. She loved it!  
  
Another week had passed and the air was getting cold, the plants were being covered up, and hot chocolate was a common drink for all meals, these were the signs that winter was coming to the castle. Draco had remembered that Hermione was going to come with him to his house for Christmas vacation and he was getting a little nervous, he didn't really know what would of changed. He had talked to Duncan more often now, but every time he did so, Hermione, Harry, nor Ron was around. Draco was having a hard time deciding if he wanted that new life for keep. He loved having his mother back and receiving a letter from her every night, but he knew that he also liked being labeled 'the bad boy'. Yes, he had decided to change for his mother's sake, but now he realized that that's just who he was! He had a lot to think about that night.  
  
"Duncan?"  
  
"What up?"  
  
"What would you do?"  
  
"Whatever feels right," he said innocently.  
  
"But I don't know what does feel right. I mean, I like having Hermione as a girlfriend; I always... you know... kind of liked her. But now that she is! ... I don't know. I guess I need more time to decide."  
  
"That's fine with me, take all the time you need. I like this life myself. I mean, I made all the same choices, the only difference is... Slytherin is MY territory, and it's not owned by you," he scoffed.  
  
"So, people can see you?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Well, it's just, Granger, Weasel, and Potter said they've never seen you before."  
  
"That's because I'm Slytherin, duh!"  
  
"O, ok, well I was just wondering. I just thought they wouldn't miss a green-haired boy walking around Hogwarts."  
  
Draco rested easily, but awoke with a major migraine. He asked Hermione to walk him to the Hospital Wing for some kind of medicine.  
  
"Oh, dear," she said when she felt his head, "No school today. You'll just sit right here, dear, and we'll get you better by tonight..."  
  
"Wait!" Hermione protested, "It's just a migraine, is it not?"  
  
"No, dear, I'm afraid it's Umtump."  
  
"Umtump?" Draco asked concerned.  
  
"Yes, dear. Have you been getting a lot of sleep?"  
  
"I... I don't usually go to sleep, but I never did before! And I never got this!"  
  
"Well, dear, it's just a mix between stress, no sleep, and..."  
  
"Crying?" Hermione cut in, "Why were you crying?"  
  
"I-I-I wasn't!"  
  
"Alright, now, Miss Granger, you'll have to go and let him rest."  
  
Hermione did as she was told, but left with concern for her boy. *Why was he crying?* she thought.  
  
Draco sat there confused, *I've only cried once! And how could that make me sick?*  
  
"That's what you get for being a wizard," Madam Pomphrey laughed, "Everything you do.... Anything you do at one time, you get sick."  
  
"Oh," he said as he put his head on the pillow to sleep.  
  
That evening, after school let out, Hermione, Harry and Ron came to visit him to see if he could come back to the Great Hall for dinner with them.  
  
While they were walking in they heard Draco talking to someone.  
  
"Well, it's just that I was remembering what happened to my mother and I guess I was crying," Draco was confiding to Duncan behind a curtain.  
  
"Whom are you talking to?" Hermione said coming around the drapery.  
  
"Duncan. Duncan, this is Hermione, Harry and Ron..."  
  
"No, I mean, WHOM are you talking to?" she asked again.  
  
Draco looked at her and spelled, "D-U-N-C-A-N!"  
  
Duncan got up hurriedly and was about to leave. He had a look of guilt in his face, "Wait!" Draco yelled. "They're being rude Duncan, sit down and talk."  
  
"No, I think I should go," he whispered.  
  
"Are you okay, mate?" Ron cut in, looking at Draco with alarm in his eyes.  
  
"Duncan! Ya'll stop being rude!" he said turning on his 'friends', "Yes, he's in Slytherin, but he's really cool. He's my friend, so stop pretending like he's not here."  
  
Hermione came sat down on Malfoy's bed as she felt his head, "Honey, there's no one here."  
  
"What? No, he's right there! Look, with green hair, black eyes, about 5'4''!" he kept protesting.  
  
"There's NO ONE ELSE here!" Harry screamed.  
  
"I... I uh... I..." Duncan stuttered feeling left out.  
  
"Maybe we should let you rest some more, huh?" the three said turning away.  
  
"NO! I mean... yea that would be best. I guess," Draco said angrily.  
  
Duncan was still there when they left, he had his shoulders shrugged and his face towards the ground, "Duncan," Draco said breaking the silence.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What was that about?"  
  
"What?" Duncan replied as if snapping back to reality.  
  
"Why the bloody hell did they pretend you weren't there??"  
  
"Huh? What?" he pretended no to of heard Draco.  
  
"Duncan! Why did they do that? What happened?"  
  
"I-I-I... uh... I love you?"  
  
"DUNCAN!"  
  
"Okay, okay! Jeese! Hol' your horses, I don't know how to say it. It may come as a shock to you..."  
  
"What? They can't see you because you're kind of like a 'fairy god mother', to where: you created the wish, you're not in it," he said as if he knew.  
  
"No, it's not that. I wish that was it, so I don't have to do this. Oh, God I wish that was it."  
  
"Just tell me."  
  
"Okay, well. I'm uh... not."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Even in your real life, I'm not."  
  
"NOT WHAT!?!?" Malfoy said getting perturbed.  
  
"Real?" due to the look of utter confusion on Malfoy's face he used another description. He whispered it low and hoped that he wouldn't have to repeat it, "I'm already dead."  
  
A/N: Du-dun-dunnnn! I have great plans for this story, and the only way to see them is if reviews are good. I know it's a big task, but come on! You can do it! I'll give you a cookie?! (Not like I can, but...) 


	8. Make My Heart Pound

J.M.J.  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Make My Heart Pound  
  
Draco sucked this all in faster than natural. Come to think of it, he had never seen Duncan before that time on the train. He was confused, he had gotten so used to it though for being in this new life for so long.  
  
"You're what?"  
  
"I... I'm not what you think I am."  
  
"Well, I can see that! You're not real! ... O, my gawd! Am I going crazy? Am I really just in the real world tossing and turning in my bed? Is this all a dream? I never went to Hogwarts yet, my mom didn't die! NO! This isn't happening! How can you be dead?"  
  
"I've been dead for..."  
  
"I don't want to know! NO! Go away!"  
  
"Okay," Duncan said with guilt from his lie. He looked back at Draco with tears in his eyes from this rejection that was taking place. He walked away slowly not wanting to look back at him.  
  
Draco sat there thinking, *I just lost my friend. My only real friend... no, he wasn't real though! He wasn't alive, not moving, breathing, feeling... I just saw him! How did I see him? He was just a figment of my imagination. He was never there, was he? It was all... a dream, wasn't it*  
  
Draco fell into an oblivious feeling that he couldn't understand. He thought that Duncan was there to help him, but he was never even there in his 'other' life.  
  
*That's why everyone was looking at me weird when I talked to him?* he thought. It was true; Duncan had lied. He was never really there for Draco; he wasn't there for the people who needed him most. That's why he was still there, not yet living, but there. Draco could only see him for... well, reasons unknown. Maybe Draco needed him, and Duncan thought that he could fulfill his last debts to the earth through him, but whatever the reason, Draco had found his first friend in Duncan, but friends don't lie. And that, Duncan did.  
  
Draco decided to put his worries to the side for now, he had to deal with Hermione and the Christmas vacations coming up. It was hard to forget the questions that were arising in his mind, but Draco, like he said, had patience. He'd ask his questions when the time came.  
  
Draco was packed and ready to go back home. He was excited about seeing his mother, but having Hermione with him was sort of a set back. He did like her, and he was her boyfriend, but he just wanted to spend time with his, thought to be, dead mother. See, in his mind she was still dead. After the encounter with Duncan, he figured that nothing was real, so the time with his mother had to be well spent, preferably without Hermione.  
  
"Hey, honey," he said walking in the Common Room. She was already there with all her luggage and her body heavily covered with clothes.  
  
"Hey, baby. Ready?"  
  
"Yes, you?"  
  
"Of course! Professor McGonagal just came in and said that the train's leaving in thirty minutes. That's just enough time to go find Duncan," she laughed. She hadn't let him live it down since that day, which was about seven days. He blamed it on the medicine and Madam Pomphrey said that he was probably allergic to it, since he was seeing things. Hermione, Harry, and Ron were having a blast about the incident. Draco knew it wasn't the medicine since he had seen and talked to Duncan thousands of times before. The three of them didn't realize that he had talked about Duncan before the medicine so everything was fine.  
  
"Bye, ya'll two. Have fun," Harry and Ron told Hermione and Draco while they were boarding the train. They were on their way to the Malfoy home. Draco was pratically bouncing on his seat all the way there. It was two long hours. Hermione was just as excited.  
  
*Maybe this won't be that bad after all,* he thought.  
  
They talked all the way there about everything! About school, about friends, family, what they were going to do when they got there, where they were going to go, they were all so eager they just couldn't contain it. The sugar from the candy that they bought off of the trolley had something to do with the glee also.  
  
When the train came to a stop they both raced off the train and Malfoy's heart almost stopped when he seen amongst the crowd a blonde haired woman, with a particularly long nose.  
  
*She's beautiful* he thought.  
  
"DRACO!" she shrieked when she saw him.  
  
"MOM!" he called as he ran up to her and gave her a huge, bear hug. His eyes filled with tears as he smelled her hair, felt her skin, and kissed her cheek. It was all so unreal. He had finally made it known to his mind that she wasn't there and that she was never coming back, but now, all that he had learned to believe was fake, "Uh... this is Hermione, my girlfriend."  
  
"Oh, so this is the 'lovely Hermione Granger' that you talk about so much," Hermione smiled at this, "Welcome! Come on, darling's, I parked over here."  
  
They followed her to the green lambergiune that sparkled in the sunlight.  
  
"Wow," was all Hermione could mutter. Draco figured his mother got it after her dad left with all the money that must have piled in. Draco's dad had a fortune piled away from his mother and when he was sent away, the stockpile fell in his mother's lap, so to speak.  
  
They drove for an hour listening to Mozart, whom he remember his mother always loved him, but was never allowed anything under Lucious' watch. This was a dream that he never wanted to end. The only woman he ever loved, the girl that he was slowly falling in love with, and the car that he always wanted dancing and singing on his way home. Not the home that he was scared to enter, but the home that he wanted to see so badly.  
  
When they arrived Malfoy practically dragged Hermione in and showed off every room. The rooms were in the same place, but the decorating was totally different. It was bright and welcoming. It was filled with plants and sweet pictures that resembled life. While Draco was rushing into his room he ran into a short little house elf that tripped him.  
  
"Master Draco! Dobby welcomes you home! And this is, Miss Granger, is it now?"  
  
"Yes," she said as she bowed to the little elf.  
  
"Oh, a wizard should not bow to an elf. We bow to you!"  
  
"I can't resist, you're just too cute," she flirted.  
  
Dobby blushed as he left the room in which they were in.  
  
"And this is my bed," Draco continued bouncing on his feather soft blankets.  
  
"I like your bed," she said following his lead and sitting down.  
  
"Um... Hermione? I know this is stupid, but do you think I'm a good kisser?" he said looking for a different answer than the one he thought he was going to get.  
  
"Draco, we've never kissed," she giggled. Yup, it was the answer that he wanted.  
  
"That's my point. It's been three years, and I've never kissed you," he leaned in and kissed her politely on the lips just barely sticking his tongue in.  
  
When he departed she whispered, "Well, to answer your question, yes."  
  
"Um, excuse me Master Draco, and Miss Granger, but I have fixed a luscious snack for the both of you," Dobby interrupted.  
  
They followed him down the Christmas decorated stairs and drank hot chocolate while they watched the snow fall outside.  
  
*I can't fall in love with her* Draco reminded himself, *this is all a dream! It isn't real*  
  
He watched her eyes glisten, as the back yard became a white winter land.  
  
"It's all so beautiful," she whispered as she the window fogged from her breath beating on it.  
  
"Yea," Draco said while looking at her.  
  
She turned his way and kissed him again, *O, forget what I said! I can have fun in a dream right? I can make it a good dream until I wake up,* he thought as he went into the kiss, but sadly they were interrupted again.  
  
"Dears," his mother's voice came in.  
  
"Mom?"  
  
"Did you show Hermione her OWN room," she laughed.  
  
"Yes, ma'am."  
  
"Oh, a 'ma'am'? Wow, Hermione, you're doing well with him. The last times that I had heard him say ma'am was... well, never."  
  
Hermione smiled at her 'whooping' compliment. Draco agreed... she had already whooped him without him realizing it (I don't know how they'd say it in England... if different, but here in America, we say whooped).  
  
That night, they all sat around the dinner table and ate contently. They had rice, chicken, peas, corn, and salad. It was a wonderful homemade meal that reminded him of his mother's love of cooking; for that was the only thing his father let her do.  
  
"Well, Hermione, dear. Draco's told me that you were Muggles born?"  
  
"Yes, ma'am."  
  
"That's really neat. We don't really have much inclination with Muggles... not that that's a bad thing. I'm just..."  
  
"That's okay, Miss Malfoy, I understand," Hermione smiled.  
  
"Well," she said, "Let me and Dobby clear the table and you two can go look at baby pictures of Draco. I took them out before you all came," she said sweetly.  
  
Hermione giggled as Draco blushed. He took her to the living room and lit a fire,  
  
"So, where are those baby pictures?"  
  
"That? You aren't looking at."  
  
"Aw," she put on her saddest puppy face and he eventually fell for her sweet eyes and consented. He sort of wanted to know his past also.  
  
"That's me when I was four," Draco was showing her, "And that's...."  
  
He looked down at a picture and his heart hurt, "that's my dad," he finished.  
  
"Oh, Draco," Hermione took the photo album and put it away, "We can do something else."  
  
Draco had hated his father, but for some reason now he missed him and he didn't know why.  
  
"Well," his mother's voice came trailing in, "You both want to go to eat some Jell-O?"  
  
"Oh, Miss Malfoy, you're going to make me fat," Hermione, giggled.  
  
That night Draco drunk it all in. he loved his new life. He loved having made the right choices and all the things he had now. But one thing bugged him as he lay in his bed with Hermione in the other room.  
  
*Duncan* he thought to himself, * The last thing he said to me... well the last thing I remember is, 'Every action has a consequence.' What does that mean?* this last message annoyed him all night, but when he finally found sleep, he just had to wake up two hours later.  
  
He smiled when he seen the two girls that made his heart pound in the kitchen talking gaily.  
  
A/N: Next chapter will prolly be 'bout Duncan!!!! 


	9. This Is MY Life

J.M.J.  
  
Chapter 9  
  
This Is MY Life  
  
Christmas had passed and Draco and Hermione were packing to leave. Two days from now they would be back on the train on their way to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They had gone ice-skating, out to eat to five various food courts, and dancing. Draco was getting to know the side of his mother that his father had locked up, he was getting closer to Hermione unwillingly, and also finding a friend in Dobby.  
  
"Two more nights," his mother came in saying.  
  
"Yup," Draco sighed, "Then I'll be back for the summer."  
  
Everything was slowing down, there was a change in the wind that showed winter was ending. Draco wanted time to stand still, for him to never leave his mother's side, but that wasn't possible due to the circumstances.  
  
"I had a wonderful time, thank you for inviting me, Miss Malfoy," Hermione said as she hugged the skinny old woman.  
  
"I'm glad, dear. Dobby has a snack for both of ya'll when you think you both have everything situated," Narcissa then departed from the two.  
  
"I had a great time, too. I'm really glad you came, Hermione," Draco blushed.  
  
"Me, too."  
  
She gave him a kiss on the cheek and was going to go further only there was a scream from downstairs. Draco practically flew down the stairs as the shrieks of pain were getting louder and louder.  
  
*I don't want to remember it!* he thought, it sounded like the same screams as before. It was happening all over again, only in a different time frame.  
  
When Draco and Hermione found their way downstairs there, standing over his mother, was Lucious Malfoy all disgruntled and straggly. He looked like he had just gotten out of a fight with a rake. His clothes were torn and there were scars up and down his body.  
  
"DAD!" Draco yelled.  
  
Lucious turned to his son and yelled, "BASTARD, YOU!" and flew his way.  
  
Draco didn't know what to do except make sure Hermione was out of the way. He pushed her under a table and ran down a hallway leading his father away from the two of them.  
  
As he passed a rug he quickly turned around and pulled it from under his father, making him trip with a loud thud, but he suddenly got up as Draco got closer.  
  
"I thought you were my son!" he yelled. He started flailing his arms all over Draco. Left, right, left, right, they all fell on him hard leaving cuts and bruises as they fled.  
  
"NO!" he heard call from behind his father. Hermione had jumped on his back and started beating him with a stick that looked like a leg that she tore off of the table she was under. But Lucious just grabbed the girl and threw her up to a wall and was about to start on her, except a rage had overcome the beaten Draco. He had risen and grabbed his father by his long hair. He threw him to the ground with a force that he didn't even know he had.  
  
In his father's eyes was a fire that was not his own, *This isn't my dad* Draco thought.  
  
Inside this being could be anything but human. The black and red eyes that flashed with malice and disgrace showed that this wasn't who he thought it was.  
  
Draco flew at his father as Hermione raced upstairs. Where his mother was he didn't know. He was just glad she wasn't there in that room. He started to beat his father with all of his might, but the thousand times that he hit him seemed to have no effect. Seconds after Hermione came racing back downstairs with her wand,  
  
"IMMOBULUS!" she yelled and Mr. Malfoy froze with what he was doing to his son. Draco took a big sigh and raced to hug his girlfriend. He kissed her a thousand times over repeating, "I love you! I love you!"  
  
He then raced back to the foyer and found his mother lying on the floor, "Mom?" he questioned, but she didn't respond. He raced to her side and hugged her tight, but the body that he held was limp. He felt for a pulse, but there was none.  
  
"NOO!" he yelled, "It's happening all over again!!! I thought if I made it better this wouldn't happen!!!"  
  
"Every action has a consequence," Draco heard whisper in his ear. He turned around and there was a ghost like green haired boy standing next to him.  
  
"TAKE IT BACK!" Draco yelled at him.  
  
Duncan looked as his feet and then looked at Hermione, whose eyes were filled with tears of compassion for her beloved.  
  
"TAKE IT BACK!" he yelled again the tears filling his eyes, "I want her back."  
  
"She's dead, baby, nothing can bring her back," Hermione whispered, hating stating the obvious.  
  
"I WANT HER BACK!!!" he kept screaming.  
  
Duncan came and sat on Draco's side, "Hold my hands," he whispered. Draco did as he was told. A cold air rushed upon him, he heard Hermione screaming, "DRACO! DRACO!!!!"  
  
In Hermione's eyes, Draco looked as if he was being pulled back; he was hazing in and out, just leaving her.  
  
Draco cried profusely as he left her standing there with his dead mother.  
  
***  
  
"Is everything okay, Mr. Malfoy?" he heard in the dark.  
  
"Huh?" he said opening his eyes. As he did so, a light filled them, giving him a sudden headache. He looked around; the colors were of green and silver. All the Slytherin boys were watching him nervous and scared He looked again around the room to see all the draperies torn down, his bed sheets scattered across the floor, pictures broken, and his own clothes ripped to shreds.. He looked at who was talking to him and who else, but Professor Snape.  
  
"What happened?" Draco asked sitting up.  
  
"I was hoping you would tell me. This boy right here says that you weren't here when he walked in, but when he came out from getting his books, he found the place a mess and the you on your bed."  
  
"I...I don't know what happened."  
  
"Maybe, you need to go see Madam Pomphrey, Mr. Malfoy..."  
  
"NO! I'm fine. I'm fine," he breathed. He was back where he belonged; everything was how it was before. Maybe not with the right choices, but with him, "I did this?" he asked looking around.  
  
"Yes," Snape said concerned, "Get some rest."  
  
Draco did as he was told and didn't wake up until that night.  
  
He got up and looked out at his window to the big moon, "Every action has a consequence?"  
  
"Yes," was the whisper behind him.  
  
"Duncan? What do you want now?"  
  
"I'm leaving for good."  
  
"Why? I liked having a ghost around... wait.... I have a question. Sir Nicholas is dead, but everyone sees him..."  
  
"I know where this is going. Well, see I'm supposed to of died and left, but for some reason I didn't. Sir Nicholas wasn't."  
  
"How did you die?"  
  
"From a broken heart. See, when I was alive I didn't care for no one and I didn't help him or her, I just did my own thing, and they did theirs. And eventually they started to fade away."  
  
"Uh huh..."  
  
"And well, I guess I had to pay back my debts with you. You needed me and I was there, so now I can go home."  
  
"And what 'home' would that be?"  
  
"Where ever the good Lord sends me."  
  
"Is everything back to normal?"  
  
"You're where you left off. Not a day went by, I made sure of that... oh, and your mother said 'hi'."  
  
"Thanks, Duncan."  
  
"No, thank you."  
  
Duncan then disappeared into the oblivion. Draco looked around and started to have a long conversation with his mother, the moon.  
  
***  
  
The next day, Draco was feeling great; he was back as himself again. He roamed the hallways with his head held high and his chest out... until,  
  
"DRACO!"  
  
"What is it, Granger?" he droned as he turned around to look into her eyes.  
  
"I wanted to talk about last night," she smiled in front of everyone who was gawking.  
  
It then dawned on Draco where exactly he had left off, *Every action has a consequence* he thought. *I can't bring her into this. I fell in love with her, now I have to protect her from... myself*  
  
"Oh, yes, you were very easy and pleasurable," everyone started giggling, "But you can't compare to a Slytherin girl."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yea, sorry, but you can't have me anymore. You were last night and just for pleasure. Now, I'm going to get someone who... at least looks good," Draco strode off without looking back at the hurt Hermione. At that moment he was wondering why he wasn't hurting from doing that to her. He didn't feel no remorse, no pain. He felt like that was natural and how it was supposed to be, he didn't feel love, trust, or pity. He was back! The normal Malfoy.  
  
Later that evening his owl had flown in and handed him a letter,  
  
He wants you.  
  
It read. Draco knew what that was about, even if they had no signature, "The Dark Lord wants me, huh? Get into the family business?" he looked around and in his pocket was the last letter from his mother, "No." he threw his father's letter away and said,  
  
"I'm not my father, but THIS? ... this is me."  
  
A/N: The end. 


End file.
